If you and your spouse are struggling with your marriage and are considering filing for divorce, the New York Times has highlighted 11 questions you may want to ask yourself before taking the leap and filing the required paperwork to initiate the divorce process. While some relationships are irreparable, sometimes, asking the right questions may address certain areas that were neglected in the past and could potentially help save your marriage.
- “Have you made clear your concerns about the relationship?” If there has been a lingering issue in your marriage yet you haven’t communicated to your spouse loud and clear so that he/she becomes aware of it, perhaps you should consider spending some time discussing it before assuming they don’t want to fix the areas that need improvement. The reality is, “research shows that people hear only 30 to 35 percent of what is said to them,” according to Sherry Amatenstein who is a marriage therapist in Manhattan which means you may have said it, but your spouse may not have actually heard you all those times you brought it up.
- “If there was a way to save the marriage, what would it be?” The news source shares one recommendation from Rev. Kevin Wright, a minister of education at the Riverside Church in Manhattan, that can be used to answer this question. Wright says you and your spouse should take a sheet of paper and on one side, write down what you think can be done to save your marriage and on the other side, what your spouse could do. If you can both agree on ways to repair the relationship, then perhaps it is worth giving it a try. However, if you find that your spouse isn’t willing to put in the effort to fix things, perhaps divorce is on the horizon.
- “Would you really be happier without your partner?” You have to weigh your pros with your cons. While you might not agree with some of the habits your spouse has, maybe their “co-parenting skills, willingness to help with everyday chores, or companionship can offset the negative and make the trade-off worth it,” says Nancy Colier, who is a psychotherapist in Manhattan.
- “What is your biggest fear in ending the relationship?” Upon deciding whether divorce is right for you, you may want to ask yourself what fears you have in ending the marriage as these could potentially affect the decision you make. If you are fearful of being single and alone or that your divorce will affect your children in a negative manner, these fears could cause you to prolong filing for divorce rather following through with it if it is what you really want.
The New York Times offers a few other questions that might be beneficial to ask yourself if you are on the brink of divorce so feel free to read what these are by clicking here.
If you have questions regarding filing for divorce in the state of New York, contact divorce attorney Charles Zolot.
Choosing to stay married or file for divorce is a big decision. After all, you are considering ending a relationship that may have taken years to build and you likely put a lot of time and effort into it. So, if you still aren’t sure whether divorce is right for you or you have a few legal questions that you need answered that could help make the decision process easier, your best bet would be to contact a Jackson Heights, NY divorce attorney. The Law Office of Charles Zolot is one of the top divorce law firms in Jackson Heights and answer any questions or concerns you might have.
While the topic of divorce can be a touchy subject for any couple, when you have a professional there to provide you with advice and guidance, they can make the matter easier to handle and address.
You can reach The Law Office of Charles Zolot at:
Jackson Heights, NY 11372