Ft. Lauderdale, FL- From a spouse’s first utterance of the word divorce to the stages when a couple must begin strong emotions can bubble up to the surface. With all that resentment, anger, pain and feelings of rejection things between a divorcing couple can get heated and hold up the negotiation process. By using the following tips you can make your divorce less contentious and more harmonious.
Mind your Tone
Whether it is a meeting with divorce attorneys of a simple discussion between you and your estranged spouse, you need to be conscientious of the tone you use. Don’t yell or raise your voice. Though it may seem like a monumental task, talking to your ex without allowing the anger or resentment to dominate your conversations will allow you both to come to terms about your divorce.
Don’t Play the Blame Game
Pointing fingers or blaming your spouse for the breakup. Don’t be defensive and responsibility for your actions and your part in the breakdown of your relationship. No one is without fault in divorce and owning up to your part can make negotiations with your spouse run more smoothly.
Don’t React to Your Spouse’s Anger
If your spouse yells or tries to disparage you don’t react in the same manner. Staying calm will have the same effect on your spouse, making it possible for you to talk about the practical aspects of your divorce. When the two of you can’t speak to each other calmly, reschedule the meeting for another time.
Meet in Public
If your spouse is quick to anger, you should consider meeting them in public to discuss your divorce. Being in public will encourage you and your spouse to have a reasonable discussion as people tend to be more behaved when other eyes are watching.
Don’t Trash Talk Your Spouse in Front of Your Children
Divorce affects everyone, but has the greatest affect on children. When you say mean or hateful things about your spouse in front of your children you could alienate them and force them to choose a side. Children want to love both their parents and they need to know both their parents love them.
Meet with a Therapist
If you are struggling with your emotions and anger towards your ex and you’re are having trouble dealing with those emotions, the American Psychological Association recommends you see a therapist. Talking about your feelings to a neutral third party can give your perspective and allow you to approach your divorce rationally.
Divorce is about compromise and cooperation. Lashing out at your ex or playing the blame game won’t make the process any easier. It could actually make things worse and make your spouse less willing to compromise over the practical aspects of divorce. If things are so acrimonious that you and your spouse can’t talk to one another without pain and anger coming to the surface, you can allow your divorce attorney to be your voice. They will always work to make your divorce more peaceful and assure your get the best settlement possible.