Divorces are tricky matters. On one hand, you might have a couple that is ready to cut ties from one another and happily go their separate ways while on the other, you may have a couple who might be going through a bitter breakup due to the issues that already existed within their relationship. Truth be told, divorces have been recognized as being some of the most difficult types of situations people find themselves having to go through as they can evoke many different emotions which can lead to disagreements and physical fights.
It is for this reason that those in Alabama who are seeking a divorce hire an experienced and dedicated AL divorce lawyer to represent them throughout their case.
In fact, news sources recently reported that a Mobile, AL man shot at his ex-wife and her current boyfriend just a few months after their “contentious” divorce had been finalized. Fox 10 TV reported that Anthony Orr approached his ex-wife and her boyfriend somewhere between St. Anthony and Dearborn Streets where he fired a weapon at the two. Orr’s ex-wife was transported to University Hospital following the shooting although her boyfriend did not survive.
The news source stated that the couple had been experiencing some issues for many years prior to their divorce being finalized which was less than half a year ago. During the divorce hearing, Judge Michael Sherman granted the divorce after Orr failed to appear. He awarded his ex-wife their home located in Semmes.
Some of the Couple’s Issues Prior to their Divorce Being Finalized
The source highlighted that after the two married in October 2013, Orr’s wife had accused him “of subjecting her to verbal, emotional and physical abuse – including several threats to kill her.” Orr was also accused of “abusing alcohol, and possibly illegal drugs, as well.” In March 2018, a judge granted a protection-from-abuse order prohibiting Orr from having any contact with the woman,” which occurred just a few months after the couple had separated.
About a week ago, Orr’s ex-wife has also said that her ex-husband punched her in the face, which resulted in Orr being arrested on domestic violence charges. As a result of the recent incident, Orr is now facing murder and attempted murder charges and is awaiting an initial appearance in court.
What can two parties do to help ease the tension that often builds up during the divorce process?
It isn’t uncommon for conflicts to arise during the divorce process, especially when the divorce was brought on by one spouse’s behavior or actions. Unfortunately, this can make getting through it much more difficult for both parties. To help ease the tension and potentially reduce the chances of a conflict arising, Psychology Today offers a few tips to consider as you go through the divorce process.
- Find a non-blaming way to understand what happened. Rather than attempt to throw the blame on one party, even though their actions may have contributed to the breakdown of your marriage, Psychology Today suggests that you “build an honest understanding of what each of you did that led to your divorce.” The two of you can work together to“seek to understand the unraveling of the marriage and its gradual failure to thrive” using stresses that you faced, differing developmental life stages, and skill deficits.
- Focus on discovering your own mistakes and how to correct them. “Mistakes are for learning. Instead of waiting until after the divorce to learn what the rupture of your marriage can teach you, start immediately after one of you has first said the d-word.” Some of the things Psychology Today recommends you assess include:
- “All the ways in which you have been a less-than cooperative, considerate and loving partner.”
- “Habits of suppressing information about your concerns instead of sharing these concerns with your spouse.”
- When “you have resorted to blaming, criticizing, telling the other what you think they should do, dismissing your partner’s attempts to explain his or her concerns, becoming excessively emotional, and/or expressing insufficient positive feelings like appreciation and affection.”
- Avoid allowing the same mistakes that broke up your marriage to interfere with your divorce. Psychology Today suggests that most divorcing couples “handle the divorce with the same mistaken strategies that ruined their marriage.” By identifying the skills that were missing in your marriage, the source says you can use these “if you want the divorce settlement process to stay cooperative.”
While these tips might make the divorce process easier for some couples, they may not work for others. But that is why you should have an Alabama divorce lawyer such as attorney James Hill working by your side and helping you get through it. When one or both parties in a divorce are only looking to make the process more of a challenge for the other, a divorce attorney can step in and help to get the issues resolved (i.e. child support, child custody, division of assets, etc.) If you are preparing to file for divorce in Alabama, be sure to contact Hill, Gossett, Kemp & Hufford, P.C. to learn more about why you need a divorce law firm in AL representing you.
Disclaimer: No representation is made that quality of legal services provided is greater than the quality of legal services provided by other attorneys.
Hill, Gossett, Kemp & Hufford, P.C. can be reached at:
2603 Moody Parkway, Suite 200
Moody, Alabama 35004
Phone: (205) 640-2000
7900 Parkway Drive
Leeds, AL 35094
Phone: (205) 699-5500
6441 U.S. Highway 11
Springville, Alabama 35146
Phone: (205) 467-2225